Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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