nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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