I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
