at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
