oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
