Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
