Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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