I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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