OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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