Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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