I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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