I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
