I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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