what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
