I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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