You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize