is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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