I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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