My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
