loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
