New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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