she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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