He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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