What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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