He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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