she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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