kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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