I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
