I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
