Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
