Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
