Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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