Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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