her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
