guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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