Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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