My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
