I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
