Me too!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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