Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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