I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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