when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
