My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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