It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
