'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
