I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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