CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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