return my video game
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
