haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
