I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
