she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
