Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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