i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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