cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
In other news, I just burned my penis
My ass is underappreciated
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
