I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
