It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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