I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
